Better sound design rarely makes the cut

Listen up, machine makers: I don’t want my brand new apartment to be smart, I just want it to shush and show some concern for my emotions

We recently moved into a brand new apartment, which means everything in it is also new, and that means that we spend most of our time trying to figure out what thing is beeping at us. I’m sure over time we’ll identify the subtle distinctions between the washing machine’s shrieking ultimatum and the microwave’s smug announcement that I’m about to drink reheated coffee but for now, they all sound like they’re telling me ...