Caribbean dreamin'

Embarking on my maiden voyage, I realise quickly how much I don't know about cruising. Firstly, cabins are actually called 'staterooms'. Mine is on the sixth floor and outside the lift, I'm greeted by 'Icebergs' a series of black and white photographs. In one of them, beyond the giant iceberg, lurks a lonely ship.

Sailing out of Cape Liberty in New Jersey into the freezing blackness of the Atlantic, I ...