Ask Layla

My mother and sister are toxic, how do I manage to have a relationship with them even though it’s often hurtful?

Ask Layla: You might need to grieve the loss of the idea of the kind of upbringing you longed for, and possibly an idealised mother you wished you had

“Unconditional love is a wonderful ideal, but as a relational model, it can be very rigid”

Question:

I am in my 50s, have a good partner and two children and in general a pretty well-rounded life. However, it has taken a long time to get to this point as I’ve come from what I feel is quite a toxic family and only through therapy have I managed to deal with some of the issues that created for me. My mother effectively raised my sister and me somewhat by herself as my ...