Off Message: Selling your house?

Off Message: Selling your house?
Sweeping your life under the rug becomes a military operation during the sale of a house Pic: iStock

Make sure you have Diptyque candles, gleaming surfaces and an interior designer to add killer details - just don’t leave any evidence that humans live there

We are parked 200 metres from our house with the car radio on. The cat is on the passenger seat in his carrier, mewling despondently. He thinks he’s on the way to the vet. The dogs are in the boot, their breath fogging up the windows.

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