Appetite for Distraction: Don’t delve too deeply into the secret life of plants

Beware the pitfalls of ascribing human characteristics to the flora in your house

12th January, 2020
Appetite for Distraction: Don’t delve too deeply into the secret life of plants
“I felt the power of the jolly green giant coursing through my fingers”. Picture: Getty

I’ve anthropomorphised my plants, and it’s become a problem. I’ve unwittingly given them personalities and backstories, and I’m convinced I’m slowly but surely murdering each and every one of them.

I was never much of a plant person. I had, of course, acquired various houseplants over the years and promptly killed them. I purchased a venus fly-trap with glee for a student flat, but then...

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