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If you would genuinely rather die than be dragged out of an audience to participate in whatever’s happening on stage, then you’re not alone

As I go on in life, I increasingly find the world divides into two types of people: those who enjoy being dragged up on stage, and those who would rather duck under the seat and start digging a tunnel, Shawshank Redemption-style, in order to escape the punishing conditions in which they suddenly find themselves.

Reader, I’m in the latter camp. Spontaneity is not my bag. As Oscar Wilde never said, I’ll do something spontaneous –...

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