Design For Life

Christmas brings back bad memories – is it possible to reset my attitude towards the holiday?

This week, psychotherapist Dr Colman Noctor advises a person whose parents had a bad relationship and who associates Christmas with loneliness and pain

Christmas is especially intense when it comes to emotional associations. Illustration: Getty

Dear Expert,

I’m generally a fairly happy-go-lucky person. But I struggle at Christmas, particularly on the big day itself. My parents had an explosive relationship and separated when we were young. We celebrated Christmas every year, but it always felt like an afterthought.

When I became an adult (I am in my early 20s), I opted out of Christmassy invitations. But this has become harder. The celebrations now start around mid-November, the adverts are endless ...