No love lost on desperation island

‘I tend to be a very spiritual person,” said Playboy playmate and DJ, Colleen Shannon, in the first episode of the new series of Love Island (UTV). ‘‘But when it comes to men, I do go straight for the looks.”

Thus it began, thus it continued, floating downwards from the credits onwards, landing with the impact of a feather on sand. The word celebrity has been removed from the title. Well it had to go didn’t it?

I mean, Chris Brosnan, adopted son of Pierce; Bianca Gascoigne, stepdaughter of Paul; Alicia Douvall, former girlfriend of Mick Hucknall. The prefix ‘‘former’’ pretty much sums up this lot. They are former addicts, former models, former ...