Adventures in technophobia

My eyes are puffy and there is a large circular groove on my left cheek. It is 24 hours since I became a smartwatch wearer and can now without fear of contradiction report that my face has slept on this watch for the past seven hours and 13 minutes. My resting heartbeat is 60 bpm, my blood oxygen saturation level (me neither) is at 98 percent, and my body, situated here in the Harold’s Cross ...